Let Them Eat Cake... Please!

The other night I had a nightmare. It was probably the worst dream I've ever had. I woke up upset, a little scared, and a little angry. I have to share with you how my dream went. 

It's the day of my wedding. It's a beautiful spring day (first clue that something is off since I'm getting married in September), and the sun is shining through the windows of my RV when I wake up. In my dream, I'm having a day wedding (not so in real life), and it turns out that I missed my alarm going off, and I've woken up late. Well the first thing I have to do is get my hair done, but the hair stylists are running later than I am! We rush to the venue (which in my dream changed to an old church in the country, not the beautiful, old hotel that the real me picked), and start getting as ready as we can before our hair is done. Time is flying by. So by the time my frantic bridesmaids, mom, and sister get to get our hair done the wedding is starting much later than it was supposed to. I also ended up with hair that looked like it just stepped off the set of a Molly Ringwald movie. 

Not cool. To top it off, the dress I'm wearing isn't my dress. It's ill-fitting, kind of raggedy, and I basically look homeless. 

But the worst thing is that with all the running late stuff, the reception was cut off. So we have the ceremony (which didn't stick out in my dream, so I'm guessing it sucked), then everyone just kind of filters out and leaves. Including Ross and me! We didn't dance. We didn't eat. We didn't get CAKE!

My beautiful buttercream-white-chocolate-raspberry-amazing cake. It's the best cake I've ever had in my real life, but my subconscious hates me and did not allow me to eat it. I guess even in my dreams I'm on a diet. Lame.

So Ross and I leave. Just leave. No grand entrance, so of course no great send-off. We just get in the car and head back to... THE HOUSE HE CURRENTLY LIVES IN.

Not only are we not going to our own first place together, but to a house that holds five people, two dogs, and a loose interpretation of the word "clean." Not a honeymoon suite by any stretch of the imagination. 

But we're not done yet. Ross plays on a competive Whirlyball team. If you don't know what Whirlyball is, Google it. Google it now. Then go play. It's so much fun! But only at the right time. When your new husband takes you to his dirty, old house and DROPS YOU OFF there saying, "I've got Whirlyball practice. I'll see you later," it is not fun. It sucks.

To recap: I was late to my wedding. My hair looked like a tornado filled with Mack trucks. My dress looked like I stole it violently off a bag lady. I didn't have a reception. I didn't have a honeymoon. I didn't even have a wedding night. And let's not forget that I never had my wedding cake either.

It's was horrible! Luckily, it was just a dream. There's no way I'll sleep in on my wedding day. I still can't sleep at night on Christmas Eve, and I know SPOILER ALERT that there is no Santa Claus. I'll be up at 4am for my 6:30pm wedding, I'm sure. There's no way we're not having a reception, and I'll be danged if I don't get a slice of my own wedding cake! 

May you always eat the cake you paid for,

Ray

PS: Are there any other brides out there that had a nightmare like this? Did your wedding turn out ok anyway?

 

The Lament of a Broke Bride

This evening I met a friend that lives close to my old apartment complex for some Zumba. That's what you do as a bride, work out. All the time. You also eat cake a lot, so really, it's a fair trade.

Anyway, since she lives by where I used to, I left work and got to drive by my old place. I got there in 20 minutes at 5:45 in Dallas. I almost cried. That could be my travel time if I didn't live out in Shady Grove. I could've been home by 6:05! 

So you can fully comprehend my suffering, I'll explain. I live so far away from civilization that people who live in DFW have never heard of it. It takes me an HOUR to get to work in the morning and another HOUR to get home. That's also on a toll road, so I pay for the experience. I haven't calculated it yet, but I bet I spend close to $10 in tolls everyday. To drive in bumper to bumper traffic both ways. So to drive by my old, wonderful, centrally located apartment 40 minutes earlier than I would ever get to Shady Grove hurt my heart a little bit. I miss that place. 

But then I think about how little I pay to live at Shady Grove (and that it's temporary). I'm consoled by the fact that my last rent bill (including water and electricity) was under $400. I'm not as broke as I could be. I'm going to pay off my credit card in 4 months (less than that if I stop buying stuff for my honeymoon). I can still go out with my friends (and not worry about bills). And most importantly, I'm not worried about paying for my wedding!

As much as I miss my old stomping grounds, I know it was the right-ish decision for me to move to Shady Grove. Plus, Ross and I will be in our own place soon enough. And who knows? We might move back towards the city. 

Here's hoping,

Ray