Shower Time

In an RV (or at least in mine), the hot water doesn't come on automatically. You have to flip a switch that tells the propane to heat up the water. It takes a little while for this to happen, and not a lot of water gets heated at once. When I was moving into my RV, my future in-laws warned me that my showers would need to be much shorter. Fran, my future mother-in-law recommended shaving at a separate time than when I actually showered. In my head, I was thinking, "Oh ok. So a 10 minute shower? I can do that...if I have to."
You see, I enjoy showers, and baths sometimes, very, very much. The hotter and longer, the better. I also like the air around the shower and in the bathroom to be warm so I don't freeze when I get out and dry off. Basically, I like to stay very warm in and out of the shower. In the RV, things get a little tricky.
The first time I try to shower in my new abode, I shaved in the sink first. I figured I'd be using less warm water for that than I would in the shower, so I'd be fine. Leg shaving goes well. The water was barely running, and it stayed warm the whole time. So then I turn the water on in the shower, let it get warm, and get in. It's nice at first. Perfect temperature, nice and steamy. I shampoo my hair, then put conditioner in and lather up my body. In the middle of using my little puff ball thing to dispense my body wash, I feel the water temperature start to lower. And lower. And lower. Suddenly, it goes ice cold. Literally. It's December, and the water comes from OUTSIDE.
I quickly turn it off, freezing to death with conditioner in my hair and soap all over my body. I can't very well stand there all soapy until it heats enough water for me to rinse off, so I turn the water on to the tub faucet. In my head, I just repeat over and over, "This is for Ross. This is for our wedding." I get down on my knees and put my hair under the cold cold cold cold water. That part wasn't too bad, except that my hands got cold. But I'm still covered in body wash. If you can understand how much I hate being cold, and how much I hate being cold inside my own home, you might appreciate the fact that I didn't actually cry out as I cupped my hands under the freezing water and splashed myself with it. It was reminiscent of the self-flagellation of the uber-pious monk in The Da Vinci Code. Not a good experience.

The second time I tried to shower, I thought I had learned a thing or two. I got some advice from the Wunders about how to really take a shower and not want to die at the end of it. Turns out, you can't keep the water running the entire time. So, I turn the water on, wet my body and hair, and turn the water off. I shampoo my hair, turn the water on and rinse, and then turn the water off. Then, I condition my hair and soap up my body, and turn the water back on to rinse. It's getting colder though and turns to the temperature of a penguin aquarium before I can get all the soap off of myself. Once again, I'm left feeling like I may weep from the cold and contemplating how long a person can go without bathing. I didn't even try to shave. "This is for Ross. This is for our wedding."

Finally, I have discovered how to properly clean oneself in an RV. It's actually called a bower and is a combination of a bath and shower. First, you must let the water heat for 30 minutes or more before you even try to use it. It also helps if you have a little space heater that you can use to heat the air in the bathroom. After the water heats, turn the faucet on and fill up the bath tub as much as you can with water that you (I) think is warm enough to bathe in. This usually ends up being about 2 inches of water before the water temperature starts to fall. Climb on in. The tub is small, the water is shallow, but hey, it's an adventure, right? Get a cup. Using the cup, wet your hair and body with bath tub water, and shampoo. Then, use the cup again to rinse out the shampoo. Put conditioner in your hair and stand up to bathe. It is best to do all of this as slowly as possible. After you bathe, turn on the faucet and let it get warm again, which it should, since you've been moving very slowly to give it time to heat up. Turn on the shower and rinse off completely. Then step out into the warm space-heater-heated air, clean and not wishing for death.

It is no longer a gauntlet to clean myself, though I do only shave when I visit Ross on the weekends. That may be gross in a few weeks when it warms up and I can wear shorts outside. I may go back to shaving in the sink. But I'll never shave before my bower. That's just asking for it.

May your water always be warm,

Ray