That's right, friends. Ross and I found our first home! My last day in sunny Shady Grove is Saturday!
As I think about leaving the trailer park behind, I am of course super excited, but it's also incredibly daunting. Well, maybe daunting isn't the right word. I am simply struck with the thought that I am closing a chapter on my life. I am starting another fun, beautiful, and exciting one with Ross, but moving out of the trailer park is signaling to me that nothing will ever be the same. I'll never live alone again, and I adore my independence. I'll cook for two, buy groceries for two, and (ugh) clean for two... I'll have two pets instead of one. I'll have to share DVR space. I'll have to be consciously tidy instead of cleaning up when I finally realize the place is dirty. I'll have to make sure it's OK if I invite company over.
None of these changes are bad. They're just different. I can't wait to live with Ross and marry him. I can't wait to have a full sized kitchen again. We've already discussed splitting up the chores, so cleaning won't be like pulling teeth. I love his (our) dog Lucy, and I've missed having a dog to walk. We watch many of the same shows, so it's not like the DVR will be taken over by crap TV. He's also going to have to work at being a little cleaner because we're sharing space so that's fair. And I would like him to OK it with me if he wants his friends over, too. What if I've had a bad day? What if I just want to zone out on the couch? I could say, "Why don't you just meet them somewhere?" And he could tell me the same thing.
I'm not really freaking out, but I just know that my life is changing, and it will never be the same. I almost feel like I'm losing something, or saying goodbye to something. But that's silly because I'm gaining so much! Ross is the man of my dreams, and I want to be with him forever. I don't want to be single forever, and I certainly don't want to live in the trailer park longer than absolutely necessary. Why do I feel like I'm going to miss being out here?!
Are any other newly wed brides or even long-time wives out there that remember feeling this way? How did you handle it?
Gathering boxes and packing tape,
Ray
